Good Bye...for now

Yesterday, May 7, 2012 Brad left the country. Right now he is on a plane from Germany to Kuwait. He started in Golfport, Mississippi and went to Virgina. Last night around 8 pm he left there to go to Germany.

This past weekend I was able to fly down and see him on Friday morning and staying until Sunday evening. I'm going to do my best to express my feelings about this weekend and detail as much as I can so when I'm sad and feeling down and lonely I can come back here...read this post, and remember all the details of our amazing weekend together.

Leaving St. Louis

Thanks to my parents I was able to book a flight and head out early Friday morning. Allie was staying with my parents and Marley with Brad's. My flight left at 7:11 am to Atlanta. From Atlanta I flew to Golfport/Biloxi Airport in Mississippi. Upon arrival I got my bag and rental car and head to my cousin Katie's house where Brad was. It took about 30 minutes to get there. We text (unsafe I know) along the way about how close I was. As I pulled up I seen him sitting outside waiting for me in the driveway. At that moment I fell in love with the man I married all over again. Something I did over and over this weekend! We hugged and kissed and said I love you. Going in I visited with Katie for a little while. Brad showed me the things he bought for me he bought me two dresses, a halter top shirt, a pair of wedges, and black earrings. Everything fit perfect and was beautiful.

This man can shop for me! We were trying to decide on what we wanted to do for the evening. Everything is pretty close driving range and we decided we wanted to visit New Orleans. Brad had 7 am formation on Sunday so going Saturday night was out of the question. So about 1 pm on Friday we decided to make the trip right then.

One of my dresses

Sleeping on the way to NO

We put New Orleans in to the GPS and we were on our way. We booked a hotel along the way and checked in about 3:30 in the afternoon. I will spare all the love making details :):) We showered and dressed and left for Bourbon Street!!!!! I've been one other time when I was 15 and I was scared of that place! It was too big, too loud, and too crowed. This time with my right hand man, knowing he would keep me safe, I was in heaven! We parked and starting our evening. We walked up and down the blocks for a while before getting a drink. We decided to eat. We ate at a restaurant called La Bayou. It was a fancy place. Not a place we would normally go in and prices we would normal not pay. Brad said were going to live it up, this is the only time we have. I agreed. Our dinner was not our taste but we tried something different, we had fried alligator and this combo plate that included, gumbo, Etoufee, and jambalaya. After dinner we went back out on the streets and stepped in a few bars for a quick peak. We seen they had these hurricanes for sale. We had to buy one. For $10 it was considered a

steal. Brad ordered a blue moon and we sat in there for about an hour. We went upstairs and enjoyed the view from the balcony for a bit. Brad wanted to hear a blues band so we went on to another bar. We stopped in a bar and stayed there for a few hours. I don't know any of the names of the bars we went in to because there are so many one after another. Names are not important. We sang, danced, and loved on each other. The band was great and we were having the time of our lives. I remember thinking in my head how I couldn't stop smiling and I was so happy

to be there with him right then enjoying the time together. Brad seen a few guys from another unit but in the same bunk he was in and we hung out with them for most of the night. We went from bar to bar drinking and dancing. It was a really good time. About 1 am I decided that I was ready to go back, I had been up since 3 am the night before. We left the group and headed back. We stopped and had a slice of pizza before I drove us back.

Saturday morning we woke up and had a quick breakfast before heading back to Golfport, I seen an outlet mall on the way to New Orleans that I wanted to shop at. We wanted to go to the beach after that. We shopped, Brad bought me a new Coach purse with matching wallet and a new swim suit. He bought a hat. We stopped at a gas station and bought some corona, and went to the

beach. I was surprised there were not many people there, it was a beautiful day, perfect weather. We hung out with just us two the entire time, we did get in the water. I was nervous, scared of sharks. We went out ways but were only up to our chest. We listen to music and just enjoyed each other. It started to look like it was going to rain so we packed up and headed to Hattiesburg where Camp Shelby is. We rented a hotel right outside of the base, we checked in and got ready to go out to dinner and go out to a country bar called Ropers. The evening was fun and we got back to our hotel about 2:30 am. Brad was wide awake and I was dead tired. When we go in bed Brad just sang Aerosmith "Don't Want to Miss a Thing" song to me as I feel asleep. I woke up a few times and he was still awake just watching me sleep. I realized at this moment, half asleep, that this man loves me just as much as I love him.

He had to get up and be at formation at 7 am and he stayed up all night to take every last second of me as he could. He kissed me good bye and told me he brought me a honey bun. He'd be back and we were going to breakfast. I pulled myself out of bed and showered, I wanted to be ready when he got back. When he got back we went to IHOP for breakfast with a few others from his unit. They were having a barbecue for the entire platoon that was being deployed at noon. We had a few hours so we went back to the hotel and took a nap. We went to the BBQ and hung out for a bit but it was really hot and we just really wanted to be alone because I only had a few more hours before I had to leave. We went back to his barracks and he showed me his "space". Brad ran in the Chaplin and ask him if he would pray with us before I had to leave, it put a little peace in my heart, I know God is going to take care of Brad while he is away. I know God is going to give me the strength to raise our girls and carry on an everyday life for them. We turned on a movie and snuggled up on his mini twin size bunk and watched a movie and fell asleep together. When we got up it was time for me to leave.

He walked me out to the car to say our one last final good bye. He usually leaves me, this time I had to leave him. It. Was. Hard! After many kisses and long hugs I got in the car and drove away. Driving away from the base I just wanted to turn back and steal him and bring him home with me!!! I cried all the way to the airport, at the airport, on my flights, all the way home...until midnight when I layed in my bed, alone, no girls, no Brad, just me. I never felt more alone in my life then I did then. It was too quite in the house.

I needed sleep so bad from the long day I had. After a quick prayer I was sleeping.

That pretty much wraps up my weekend with him. It was amazing. We needed this time together and we made every second count.

I miss my husband!

I really REALLY Really miss Brad today. I haven't seen him in 24 days, and I wont see him for another 9 days. I know that is nothing compaired not seeing him for 9 months or more. This is the longest we have gone with out seeing each other so far. Im so proud of him and what he is doing while he is serving our country and making our lives better.

I have a great support team and great family and friends that are here to help us every step of the way. Im very thankful!!!

He sent me this pic yesterday. He is in Fr. Dix, NJ training.

So hot!!! 

Army Wives Quotes...

Love these.....

The following are some of my favorite quotes for Army Wives:

• Live everyday like he deploys tomorrow.
• The military is my husband's mistress & sometimes that bitch gets all the attention.
• Put on your big girl panties and get ready to deal with a lot of $#!%
• My Soldier makes me scream Hooh-ah.
• If you love a Soldier, raise your glass. If not, raise your standards.
• Army wife… the H-E-R in HERO.
• You go fight for the world. I'll be home fighting for us.
• Why play with Ken when you can have G.I. Joe?
• Army wives get to legally mess with government property.
• Sexually deprived for your freedom.
• I make his dog tags jingle.
• Forget Prince Charming, I have a U.S. Soldier.
• My high heels need your combat boots.
• My man serves so yours won’t get drafted.
• God found some of the strongest women and made their match a Soldier.
• Be jealous, my Soldier is better than your civilian. ok...so, that's just mean)
• I’m the Pink in his world of Camo.
• If the only place that I could see you is in my dreams, I'd sleep forever.
• We are the perfect couple, we're just not in the perfect situation.
• When you feel alone, just look at the spaces between your fingers, remember that in those spaces you can see my fingers locked with yours forever.
• Don't measure the distance; measure my love.
• Close together or far apart, you're forever in my heart.
• Love puts the 'fun' in together, the 'sad' in apart, and the 'joy' in a heart.
• I miss tripping over combat boots.
• Every Soldier deserves a trophy wife.
• Draft beer, not people.
• Military wife: one of the toughest jobs in the military.
• The girl he left behind is still behind him. I support my hero!
• Real love is trading in your diamonds for his dog tags.
• Stay safe; sleep with a soldier (one that isn't married anyways)
• Tough times never last, but tough people do.
• Together forever, never apart; maybe in distance, but never in heart.
• If you think soldiers are strong, you should look at their woman.
• My heart belongs to a soldier.

Throwing in the towel.......I mean the nipple shields and pump.

After a long hard few weeks, I've decided its time to stop breast-feeding. Not because of low supply or work or anything other reasons I thought I would be stopping. But because Marley's acid reflux is so bad. After racking my brain to see what else I could do for my poor baby because after a week on medicine it still was no better and my sitter is about to quit on me. I kept thinking she hated my milk. I googled "Is it possible for a baby to not like their moms milk?" Everything I read pointed to no, not possible. I watched what I ate, nothing spicy, no dairy. I was ready to go to soup and bread diet! I called the doctors office and talked with a nurse and told her I thought Marley's problem was my milk. She told me that if I was comfortable with it, I could try giving her formula for the weekend, pump to keep up my supply and see if it helped. I supplemented a few times while breast feeding so I knew she didn't have a problem with formula. Brad was coming home for the weekend so I thought it was worth a shot. I could pump while he fed Marley. The weekend was good. Not great but better. My heart hurt because I thought that it was for sure me that was the problem. Come Monday, I sent breast milk with Marley to the sitters because I just wasn't willing to face it just yet. She had a horrible day. My poor sitter. She has been a Saint so far. She told me she had screamed most of the day and is very uncomfortable. Tuesday I sent formula along thinking it would help the problem. She was better but not great. I sent the doctor an email and soon after a nurse called. We talked about how much she was spitting up and how she was not content. She said the doctor wanted to see us. After seeing the doctor he told me to keep her on the gentle ease formula and add rice cereal to it. Come to find out the dosage of medication she was getting wasn't right. The pharmacy called the doctors office 3 times asking them to lower it. The third time was after hours and they spoke to a doctor that wasn't Marley's. She was getting half of what she should have been getting. The doctor upped it to three times a day to the right dosage. Last night she got her the rice/formula bottle and she did good. She woke up in the middle of the night smiling and happy. I sent the same to the sitters today and she sent me this text " She is doing amazing! She played for over an hour after her bottle with out one little cry. She started acting sleepy about 15 minutes ago and is already asleep." All I want is for my baby to be happy and healthy. If this is working this is what we are doing. Some might say there are ways around it and things we can do to work around it. I'm sure they are right. But with no husband, a sitter who is about to quit, working, and a screaming baby I'm going to stop. I can't say the word quit. I don't think I'm quitting, I think I'm doing what is best for Marley. Its all about survival mode at this point.

I can't say I'm not sad because my goal was to do it for a year. I considered everyday a success. I didn't get past a week with Allie so doing it 9 weeks with Marley is much better. I have a freezer full of milk that I'll keep and maybe I can use it to mix in her food when she is older and has a stronger belly.

Marley's Birth Story

This is Marley's Birth Story...

When I decided that I was ready to have another baby it took some time to get Brad on the same page. Once we started trying it took 10 long months before we conceived.

We knew Brad would be deploying early 2012 and it started to come down to "Is he going to be home when the baby is born?" and boom were pregnant.

I found out I was pregnant around the end of May.

My pregnancy was uneventful. First three months I was sick, second trimester I was fine, last two months I was tired, and my last month...well I didn't get a full last month because Miss. Marley Elizabeth came three weeks early! (Thank God)

December 22nd I went to the doctor because the day before I had contracts pretty close together and lasted for a few hours. He wanted to check me out just incase. He put me on bed rest until the baby was born.

My weekly doctors appointments were on Tuesday's. Tuesday January 3rd I was seen and everything was good. I was 80% effaced and 2 cm dilated and you can sit on those numbers for weeks.

Brad had orders to leave that Saturday for a two week class for the Army. I knew that I wasn't going to make it two weeks longer and was upset because after all those months of fearing that we would get pregnant too late and him miss it he really was going to miss it! He was scheduled to come home on the 20th and I was due on the 25th. After whining to the doctor he just gave me a pat on the back and said "I'm sorry I can't induce you until a week before your due date." Whomp whomp.

So to home I go for an uneventful night. I went to bed around 10 pm and fall fast asleep only to wake up a short while later not feeling so great. I was up all night contracting but not laboring. With my first pregnancy and this one I never wanted to be "that girl" that called the doctor at 2 am or show up in the ER just to be sent home. I didn't want to see the nurses roll their eyes at me because Im being a baby about some Braxton Hicks. Brad got up for work about 5:30 am and I told him I hadn't slept all night because I was having contractions. He asked if he should stay home and I brushed him off and told him not I was fine they didn't hurt that bad. He then asked if he should drive so if he needed to he could come home. Again told him no I just needed some sleep I was fine. He left.

I got up about 10 minutes late because I need to use the bathroom. I know when they say you lose your mucus plug some people call it a "bloody show". This was much more then that. I thought CRAP now what?!?! So I did what any normal person would do and I took a picture of it and sent it to Brad, my mom, and two sisters lol. The response by all was call the doctor and get to the hospital.

I call the exchange and they told me if the doctor didn't call me back in 2 hours to call them back. Really 2 hours lady?! Moving on. My dad calls and ask if Im okay and wants to know where Brad is. Duh dad I sent him to work!!! He offers me a ride. No Im fine. This is about the time that I stop pacing the house and start squirming in pain every 3 minutes. Ahhh Im home with a 4 year old, my husband is at least 30 min away at this point and no doctor call back! I call Brad and tell him its a good idea that he comes back because I'm pretty sure his daughter is coming out!

After about 5 minutes I realize that waiting for Brad is no longer an option and call dad back. Ten minutes later my dad is there, dresses Allie and were off to the hospital. On the way to the hospital I'm pretty sure this baby is going to come out on the floor of my dad's work truck because the amount of pain I'm in compares to nothing I have ever felt and I would have bet my life that my body was splitting in half. This of course only happens every 3 minutes and I return to normal. Man 3 minutes never went by so fast. For some reason I picked the hospital that is the furthest from my home and as we are driving down three different highways we pass 4 hospitals. I cursed them all.

As we arrive my mom is there waiting for her baby. She gives me a wheel chair and the receptionist ask what I need. Um lets see.....I have a large round belly and Im curled up in a ball...IM IN LABOR LADY!!!!! Up to labor and delivery we go. They stick me in a small room to check me. When Nurse Jenn arrives she observes one contractions and hears me screeching and decides that's not necessary and they give me a room. After I strip off my clothes and lay in bed she checks and Im 5 cm. THAT'S IT?!?! How women make it all the way I have no idea but their something unnatural.

A few minutes later or so it seems Brad appears. Thank you Jesus my husband will see the birth of his second child!

After what seems like years they tell me the neurologist will be in soon to give me my epidural, he had 2 more to do before me. I object. There is no way that anyone else on this planet is in more pain then I am at this time. She just smiled and left the room. At this point I'm cursing, spitting, screaming, ripping sheets. Finally they arrive. I'm welcoming the bee sting in my back to get some relief. About 10 minutes later I'm in half the pain I was in because only half my lower body has went numb. Perfect! HELP!!!!!! They come back pump me with more drugs and fix my epidural and Im in high Heaven.

No one knew what Marley's name was. Everyone told us to keep the sex a secret and that wasn't possible for a man that want a son so bad. So Brad wanted to keep her name a secret. We didn't decide on one name until about 7 or 8 months. It was either Marley (MARy & bradLEY) or Cadence which is a military march. Both had meaning to us. He got to pick her name and he kept me guessing which it was until the end because he thought I would spill the beans and tell others. I kept my mouth shut and didn't tell anyone! Back to my story....

Once I was numb Marley was making her way down fast. The doctor was home showering and I was at 10 cm. I kept telling Brad I wanted it to slow down. Things were going too fast. I got to the hospital at 6:30 am and it was only 10:30!! I was in labor with Allie for over 12 hours and that's what I was expecting this time! Dr. Boveri showed up and it was show time. With my amazing husband and mother by my side I pushed a few times while he was prepping to see how things would go and they told me to stop. I asked for a mirror so that I could see how things were going. At first I was embarrassed to see myself so open but after one push it really helped me see how me pushing was making her crown. It was amazing!! I said she has dark hair!!!!!!! Knowing this baby girl was coming out looking just like her daddy my only request was dark hair! Being the bubble popper he is Brad said no its just wet! BLAH!!!! Push two Marley's head popped out. WHOOOW momma!!!! Third push Marley Elizabeth Soderblom was born at 11:45 am she was 7 pounds 4 ounces and 21 inches long.

Who? What? Where? Why?

Those are the words that come out of Allie's mouth the most.

If you know Allie you know that she is very talkative.

"How old are you?"

"What's your mom's name?"

"What's your favorite color?"

"Who are you calling?"

"Where are you going?"

"Why is your belly big?"

The list goes on and on. She has something to say to everyone and sometimes her comments and questions are not always welcomed.

I try to tell her about personal space but she has no concept. She just wants to be your friend and play with your hair...what is wrong with that???

For the most part what she has to say is nice and people respond with a smile and a comment back. Some people look at her like she has three eyes.

She doesn't understand why someone can't just say hello back. I simply raise my tone a few notches and say "Allie, not everyone is as NICE as you are."

For the life of me I don't know what is so hard about saying hi back to a little girl just saying hello.

I'm proud that so far we have raised a little girl that is friendly and open. She wont shy away from any conversation and I think that she is setting up the foundation to be one smart successful women.

Marley Elizabeth Soderblom

Just born

Almost 7 weeks ago I gave birth to Miss. Marley.

She was 7 pounds 4 oz, 21 inches long. Born 11:48 am.

My heart has doubled in size in the past 7 weeks. In such a short time Marley has brought a ton of join in to our lives and she is such a sweet sweet baby!

We made it home safe!!

She sleeps well at night only to wake up to nurse. I have been lucky so far and she knows when its night and knows when its day time.

Yes you are that cute!!!

Already a ham!

Big sister loves you SO much!

Suggle bug!

This year is going to be a tough one but were going to come out stronger!