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Last weekend I turned 30. I tried to not think too much about the day that loomed for months. I feel like I just turned 20 how is it possible that I'm 30? I feel like the last ten years flew by and soon I'll be 40. I know that's a dramatic way to think about it but its true.
I didn't spend my birthday the way anyone would want too. My Uncle Bobby passed on 8/8 and he was laid out on Friday the 10th and his service and funeral was on Saturday...my birthday. On Friday I spent the night at my mom house so I didn't have to drive back and forth. It was a sad day for my family. It was hard to see my dad so sad and crying. Its hard to see the person who has always been the strong one break. Uncle Bobby fought cancer for two years and I'm thankful he is now in peace and doesn't have to fight any longer.
Tammy took the girls so I could go home where our friend Amanda had planned a party. I was looking forward to some down town and to have a little fun. My heart was heavy most of the day not only because of Uncle Bobby but because Brad was missing my day. I told him I would give up my birthday presents for forever to have him with me that day. I would. I miss him every day but it was hard not having him there on Saturday. Amanda and our friends made the night special for me and we had a good time. Brad Skyped in for a few hours and he was apart of the party. I set him up on the kitchen table and people just came in and out and talked to him. Everyone loved it. He sent his gift to his parents house a few weeks back and his mom wrapped it and gave it to me. Every day last week I came home expecting a package at the door. I never even thought he would have sent it to them. He always surprises me! I waited until he Skyped in to open it. He got me the Kindle Fire! I wanted it SO bad!! He told me no over and over so I really didn't think he was going to get it for me. The night ended up great and my 30th birthday didn't end up being so bad. This Saturday I'm having a party at my parents house. I went from no party to two! I feel kinda silly for having two but with our friends and family being so far from each other we have to do everything separate.
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| At least I got a kiss on my birthday! |
I did reflect on my way home on Saturday on my life. Am I were I thought I would be at 30? No. I'm stronger, I'm happier, I'm further then I thought! I thought at this point I would be done having children, Brad wants another when he gets home. I'm still warming up to the idea but we will do it again. I thought I would have my children in my early to mid 20's and be done. I didn't think I would be 31 or 32 having another!!! I'm happy with the way my life is working out. It's almost never easy but that's what makes it so great. We've worked so hard to have the things we have and to be in the place we are in. We are not quite where we want to be but we will be. We will reach all of our dreams.
I can't even say bring it on 30's because I still feel like I'm 25! HA!
