Just a SODERBLOM update:

Brad

He's doing well. We are on the downhill of this deployment and we couldn't be more excited!!! He is keeping himself busy with school. He will graduate in December with his Bachelors in Business. I'm very proud of him for all the hard work he has put in to get this done! Next month he will be traveling to Qatar. He'll be there for 20 days. He's very exciting to be traveling to a new place. Seeing pictures of it makes me jealous, its pretty much paradise. I still get to see him everyday on FaceTime and he has been able to call in the mornings before we leave more and sometimes we get a surprise call in the evenings when he is getting up. We are so thankful technologies has made this deployment a bit less dreadful. Nothing can make up for him in person but well take it!!

Allie

Kindergarten is going well for Allie. She is so smart and adjusting well. I think Preschool helped a lot. She is fast learner and picks up on things well. The first few weeks were hard for her to understand that she couldn't speak out of turn or play as often as she wanted. The teacher always has nice things to say about her. She is growing to be such a good lady. She makes me very VERY proud. We got to do a few of her favorite things in the past few weeks. She LOVES horses and loves to ride. Brad's cousin Sarah had a birthday party for her kids a few weekends back and she has two horses. Allie rode over and over. We visited the pumpkin patch last weekend and she did it again. Her face lights up. What little girl doesn't love ponies?!

Marley

Ready! Set! GO! She is on the move. She is in to everything and crawling at full speed. It took her a bit to get the gist but there is no stopping her now. I'm still waiting for the magic words of MAMA and DADA to come but she is not like her sister, she is more quite. She still sleeps and eats great. Her 9 month apt was last week and she is over 90% in height, weight, and head size. She is going to be a tall girl. She is wearing size 18 month clothes and weighs 22 pounds. At this rate she'll meet her daddy's weight of 32 pounds at one year! And she has 8 teeth! Marley is still eating stage 2 foods and has puffs and yogurt melts. She is shy when it come to meeting new people and a few men have made her cry. She's just a bit more reserved. She is just growing so fast.

Me

I'm doing well :) I have my days where I want to stay at home, under the covers and hide. But for the most part I take each day with stride. Brad is always on my mind and can't wait till the day he is back home. At the end of October I'm going on an over night trip with my mom and sisters to the Ozarks to do some shopping at the outlet malls and to have a fun night out. I can't wait. A night out with my favorite people sounds like the best thing ever right now! Gearing up for the stressful Holiday's. I would love to have a good jump on it and have it all done. Ohhhh.. I got a new tattoo.

Over and out.

9/11

Today is a day that no on will forget. It's etched in our minds exactly where we were, what we were doing, and how it made us feel.

I was in my car on the on ramp from Richard Rd getting on to HWY 55 on my way to college. I was listen to the MJ morning show. The first tower was already hit and they were still not sure it was a terrorist attack. I had the radio on for only a few minutes before the caller screamed and said another plane ran in to the second tower. MJ said he was for sure that it was a terrorist attack. I went to Maggie's house like I did every day to pick her up. It was our first semester of school. We had all the same classes together. We skipped school that day and sat in her apartment and watched the news. I witnessed people jumping out of the buildings, the fires, the towers falling. I watched in horror! I didn't realize how much that day would affect the rest of my life.

If 9/11 wouldn't have happened, if our nation hadn't fallen under attack. Among many many other things my husband would be home today. I know many people lost their lives and they wish that their loved one was only way on deployment and for them my heart breaks.

Today Allie's school honored those who died on 9/11, those who helped saved lives on 9/11, those who lost someone one on 9/11, the President, our congressmen, and our military. Allie was given the honor to do the military prayer because Brad being deployed. It was emotional for me. I'm just so proud of the little lady that she is becoming. Im so proud that Brad is a United States Soldier. My heart is over flowing with pride!

We will not forget. We wont forget those who were lost, those who fought, and those who fight.

Zoo time with friends

This weekend we took a trip to the St. Louis Zoo! It was Marley's first trip to the Zoo.

We had so much fun. Jacque and Baxton joined us. We started the day early. Being the working mom's we are we can only enjoy these things on the weekends. It was going to be a beautiful day outside so we wanted a jump start on the crowd. We were in the park by 9:30! Our first stop was the sting rays and sharks. We were able to go in and touch them...we as in Jacque and I. Allie wanted nothing to do with the stingrays. They felt so cool. We even got to feed them which was totally freaky!!!! With the weather being so beautiful all the animals were out and playing. Allie's favorite thing is the monkey's. Marley took an early nap and missed the monkey's and sea lions. We made our way around the entire zoo before riding on the train. The kids LOVED the train. Jacque and I did too!!! It was very fun.

We spent hours at the zoo and the kids didn't give us much trouble at all. We left and had lunch. We were all ready for a nap! I think all three kids were sleeping before we hit the highway!!

 

30

<3 Love these laides! <3

Blah....

Last weekend I turned 30. I tried to not think too much about the day that loomed for months. I feel like I just turned 20 how is it possible that I'm 30? I feel like the last ten years flew by and soon I'll be 40. I know that's a dramatic way to think about it but its true.

I didn't spend my birthday the way anyone would want too. My Uncle Bobby passed on 8/8 and he was laid out on Friday the 10th and his service and funeral was on Saturday...my birthday. On Friday I spent the night at my mom house so I didn't have to drive back and forth. It was a sad day for my family. It was hard to see my dad so sad and crying. Its hard to see the person who has always been the strong one break. Uncle Bobby fought cancer for two years and I'm thankful he is now in peace and doesn't have to fight any longer.

Tammy took the girls so I could go home where our friend Amanda had planned a party. I was looking forward to some down town and to have a little fun. My heart was heavy most of the day not only because of Uncle Bobby but because Brad was missing my day. I told him I would give up my birthday presents for forever to have him with me that day. I would. I miss him every day but it was hard not having him there on Saturday. Amanda and our friends made the night special for me and we had a good time. Brad Skyped in for a few hours and he was apart of the party. I set him up on the kitchen table and people just came in and out and talked to him. Everyone loved it. He sent his gift to his parents house a few weeks back and his mom wrapped it and gave it to me. Every day last week I came home expecting a package at the door. I never even thought he would have sent it to them. He always surprises me! I waited until he Skyped in to open it. He got me the Kindle Fire! I wanted it SO bad!! He told me no over and over so I really didn't think he was going to get it for me.  The night ended up great and my 30th birthday didn't end up being so bad. This Saturday I'm having a party at my parents house. I went from no party to two! I feel kinda silly for having two but with our friends and family being so far from each other we have to do everything separate.



At least I got a kiss on my birthday!

I did reflect on my way home on Saturday on my life. Am I were I thought I would be at 30? No. I'm stronger, I'm happier, I'm further then I thought! I thought at this point I would be done having children, Brad wants another when he gets home. I'm still warming up to the idea but we will do it again. I thought I would have my children in my early to mid 20's and be done. I didn't think I would be 31 or 32 having another!!! I'm happy with the way my life is working out. It's almost never easy but that's what makes it so great. We've worked so hard to have the things we have and to be in the place we are in. We are not quite where we want to be but we will be. We will reach all of our dreams.

I can't even say bring it on 30's because I still feel like I'm 25! HA!

I've got sunshine...

There are two people in my life that at any point I can call them and they will be there for me. Two. I consider myself lucky to have more then one.

Margaret. We have been best friends for a very long time. Since 9th grade. Half our life. We are the type of friends that will get on your nerves because we can finish each others sentences and have a conversations with just looks. In high school we really couldn't have been more different. The choices we made couldn't have been further from each other. But we were with each other each step of the way. We never missed a beat. She's my soul sister. She gets me. She doesn't judge me, she is honest with me, she will break me down and build me back up and makes me a much better person. She's real. She loves me. Neither of us have many girlfriends. And that's all by choice. We can get along with anyone and fit in any crowd. For me...I wont speak for her...its hard to have friendship with others when I have someone like her. I compare others to her. Like Mag wouldn't do that or she would think that was funny. It's kinda like once you buy something name brand its hard to go back to the generic. It's hard to explain. I know Maggie and I will be friends until we are little old biddies. She makes me a better person.

Jacque. She is such a power house. Her affect in my life is unreal. She makes me a better wife and mother. She always has the best advice and always knows what to say and when to say it. She speaks to my heart and puts it in a way where I do not feel offended. She's an old soul. She's such an amazing wife and mother. I look up to her and the things she does. She doesn't pretend to be perfect and points out her own flaws. She is always the voice of reason. She takes so much pride in her life and that's something I look up to. She doesn't push anything on me when our views are different. She states her facts and leaves it at that. She doesn't back down. Jacque is so strong. Stronger then she knows. Smarter then she knows. More amazing then she knows.

With this year being the hardest year so far in my life. These two women have picked me up, brushed me off, and put me back on my feet. Over and over. They will protect me, love me, and help me no matter what. They do not have to agree with me. They might want to shake me and scream at me. But they will never leave my side. I love these ladies so much. Not sure where I would be with out them. A true friend is so hard to find. Again....I'm lucky I have two!

75 days...

Its been 75 days since I since I've touched your face, smelled your scent, snuggled you, kissed you.

I miss you so much. I haven't had a good week. I've been so lonely with out you. Our girls fill up my time and keep me busy but nothing can fill the void that is left behind while you are away.

I cry for you. I can't imagine what 7 more months is going to be like. I know the sacrifices we are making are going to be worth it. I have to keep telling myself that so I can keep my grip on life. I always thought of myself as an independent women. I never realized how much you do for me, help me, love me, and support me. I need you. You are my rock and my core. I can't wait to be back in your arms. God knows we can do this and He wouldn't have put us in this Season if He didn't think so. We will come out stronger.

I can't wait to see pictures from today where you were pinned. Sergeant First Class. Im so proud of you Bradley. I know how hard you have worked and how much this means to you. You are an outstanding soldier and I know guys look up to you. My heart is so filled with pride when I talk about you and tell people how you are when they ask.

I know the long road that is still ahead seems like forever but a "blip in the radar" is our motto and it will be over before we know it.

I love you.

Allie turns 5



Little Bear!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was your 5th birthday!!!
Mommy is SO proud of you baby girl!!! I took the day off with you yesterday to spend the day with you. Since dad isn't home and Marley is a baby you don't get as much attention as you use to or need. :( So I wanted to try and make your day as special as I could.

You wanted to go to school in the morning so that you could have your birthday party there. We bought a cookie cake and had them put your name on it! You were SO excited about that! Daddy skyped in and I went in and had him wake you up. We love doing that to you, so you can see him first thing. We sang happy birthday to you and had you come in the kitchen for your birthday gift. We got you a huge doll house with a ton of furniture, dolls, and a car to go with it. You loved it!!!!
 I took you to school and dropped you off. I took Marley to the sitter so we could enjoy our day alone.
I had a few hours to myself (which never happens). I went back and picked you up at noon.
You didn't know what I had planned for the day. I packed a bag with towels & our suits and went and picked up from school at noon.
We changed in the bathroom at your school. I took you to Aquaport in Maryland Heights. They have slides, and waterfalls, lazy river, lots of things for you to do. We had so much fun!!!!! The video I sent you was of you there. We did whatever you wanted to do. We giggled allot.



We left at 2:30 and went and picked up Marley. We went home, mama Icey & papa Rick were there waiting for you. Surprise! You were very excited!!! They got you two pairs of shoes. A pink pair of high tops converse and a pink and white Nike's. You loved them. I also gave you the other gifts from daddy and I. We got you a towel and 6 headbands with your name on them and a Justin Beiber CD. Grandma & pa visited with you for a while and they left. We headed to Grandma Hampton's house for dinner. Mama Mary and Papa Randy, Grandma Hampton, Nancy, Deanna, her boyfriend Brian, and Cole were all there. You loved it!!! Everyone was there for YOU! We ate chicken and sang happy birthday to you!! It was all very exciting. You got hungry hungry hippo and a Betta fish from Deanna. Grandma H gave you $25, Nancy gave you $20, Grandma and pa Soderblom got you goggles and they will give you something else on Saturday at your birthday party. That evening mama and papa took you home and the next day are going to take you swimming and to your first movie Madagascar 3.

(Because I didn't send this yesterday like I mean too, you had a ton of fun at the movies, you fell asleep an hour in to the movies, but you did well!!!)

Over all it was an amazing day. You had a smile on your face the entire time! My heart is just so happy and proud of you Allie. You are just so smart and so beautiful. I'm so proud to be your mommy! I pray that you continue to grow and learn like you are. You are such an amazing little girl. You blow my mind everyday with your personality.

I love you baby,

Mommy!

June

I can't believe its already the end of June! Doesn't seem like a month has passed since I wrote the last post.

June has been not such a great month. Its been hot, its been tiring, and its been stressful.

I think June has hit all of us hard. I think Brad has started to feel the stress of not being home. He would never say home sick but I think that's the case. I never dough that he has missed us since he left but I just think since he has been so busy since the beginning of the year he hasn't had much down time to sit and think. He has had a normal schedule since the beginning off of June. He worked nights, our days. So we were able to talk to him and see him a lot. We got kinda spoiled. This past Saturday he was able to go back and be with his Unit in Kuwait. The amenities are not as luxurious but he is so much happier there. He has been training since January and been with his unit. Come April he leaves country then leaves his unit behind to go to Bahrain. When you are deployed your unit becomes your family. You spend so much time with them, you rely on them. When he was in Bahrain he lived with two other men in a much nicer set up then he has now but he wouldn't go back there for nothing. So even though I wont get to "see him" or speak to him as often Im happy too.

Marley has two teeth...not sure if I shared that in the last post. Her two bottom teeth came in at the same time. She is sleeping and eating well. She has to weight close to 19 pounds! Im shopping for 9 month clothes, next week she'll be 6 months. Allie is back in the pool and loves it!!! She is swimming under water. The doggy paddle is not yet mastered. She can do a flip on her own. She loves the water!!!

July is going to be another busy month! Her birthday party is scheduled for July 14 at Arnold Rec Center. They have a huge outdoor pool. Lots of slides and things for the kids to do.

Planning a trip to the lake the last weekend in July. Marley will not be going. Too hot and too much for her. It will be nice for Allie to get some special time alone with me.

That is about it!

Wrapping up May!

One month down....many more to go!

What a roller coaster of a month, lots of highs and lows.
So hard not to want every month to go this fast with Marley being a baby and getting SO big but I want Brad home SO bad!





Last day of school

Allie continues to grow so fast and she is maturing too quickly. She talks like she is 15 and has an attitude of a 15 year old too! She gives me a rough go alot but I know things are hard for her right now too so I try and take it as easy as I can on her with out letting her get out of hand. She started her summer break so next up will be Kindergarten. Its going to be so sad for me. She will stay at the school she is at so the only thing for her that will change is the teacher. I'm thankful for that. Also all the kids in the Pre-K class except for 2 are going her Kindergarten class also so she'll already know everyone. She will have to wear a uniform and I'm perfectly ok with that, wont have to worry about what the little Diva will want to be wearing. She has started to be pretty pickey about what she will be wearing. Picking out her clothes the night before and making sure the socks that she has on are the right day of the week. Thank you mama Icey for those the neon colored socks! This morning we were all dressed and ready to go. Marley was in her crib under her gym. I went in there to pick her up. I turned around with her in my arms and she threw up....on Allie's head, face, shirt, arm, hand, and crackers lol. She said "What the frick?!" I looked down and couldn't stop laughing. I laughed for a good 5 minutes! She was SO mad! I told her I wanted to take a picture and she said no because she didn't want me to send it to anyone. That is of course what I did :) Only because I love you Allie.

Marley is growing so fast and getting so big. At her four month check up she weighed 15 pounds 10 oz (82%) and was 26 inches long (93%). She is at the top of her chart in both. To much surprise her head is only in the 61% tile. She has learned to roll over from front to back, she loves to sit in her high chair and play with her toys and watch a few minutes of TV. I started her on Stage 1 foods, so far sweet potatoes seem to be the favorite. I think theeth are in the near future. She went from being a great night sleeper to waking up every 3 hours. She goes back to sleep after a bottle.


We went swimming last weekend for the first time this season. Allie was SO excited to get back in the pool! She jumped right in and didn't miss a beat. At the end of last year she was swimming from one side of the pool to the other under water. She is too nervous to do that right now but soon she'll be ready to try it again. This was Marley's first time in the water and she loved it! I just sat her on the first steps and she kicked her feet and gooed for a long time! It was too hot to keep her out there for a long time so she didn't get to stay for long. The only thing missing in this picture is Daddy! We sure do miss him the most when we are doing fun family things! He completes us!


This week we completed the deployment chain. I worked on it at work for a few weeks and finially got all the days printed and the paper cut. I took my stapler home and showed Allie what we were going to be doing and what it was for. She didn't seem to interested in it at first. After she seen how long it was getting she finally wanted to help. After we were all done the chain was VERY long. I need to measure it to see how long it is. It has over 290 links to it and it could wrap around the house! Im going to pin it up in Allie's room. I did it for her, to show her the best way I could how long daddy was really going to be gone. I can say 9 months but to her she just doesn't get it. I tried to say after her birthday, mine, and even Marley's but it still doesn't click. I think this really helped her understand how long it will be. Each day we will remove a link and she will see the chain get shorter and shorter. We can't wait to tear off the last one!!!



Missing you

Im having a really hard day today. For no reason really. You being over 7000 miles away from me is reason enough I guess.

Im trying to be strong and brave for you and the girls but sadly today not even a few weeks in to this deployment Im having a freaking break down.

I have no idea how Im ever going to make it 8 1/2 more months! Seeing it that way today makes it feel like its an impossible journey. I know its not. I know many spouses do it and do it more often. But right now I can't look past today and the empty spot in my heart that only you can fill.

Im trying to keep busy with out overwhelming myself. Its a fine line to walk. I don't like to be home too much but its where things are the easiest. I wish you could call me more and hope that will change with your work schedule. Deployment is such an awful thing! I am thankful that at least we can see your face on the computer and the phone. I couldn't imagine what it was like in previous wars when people had to wait weeks for a letter.

Im working on the count down chain for Allie's room, by the looks of it so far its going to wrap around the house! 280+ days.

I can't wait till I get to see your face again...I hope its soon.

xo J

Am I mom enough???

Today TIME Magazine released its May 21, 2012 edition.

I am not a TIME subscriber so I can't read the full article but looking at it gives me a pretty good idea of what its about. I'm not going to lie when I first seen this photo on another person blog I flinched. Why on Earth would a women do this? Her son in 10 years is going to look back and be so embarrassed! I know I would if my mom would have done that!

(The women on the cover was nursed until she was 6)

Then I really thought about it... the boy is 3. I failed at nursing...twice. My goal with Marley was to make it a year. I made it 9 weeks. I think breastfeeding is the most amazing way to connect with your child. It is so healthy for the baby and yourself, if you make it 3 months, you cut your chances of breast cancer by 30% and the longer you go the higher the % goes. There are SO many benefits to it! When Brad and I first talked about me nursing Allie I was a really not in to the idea of it. Those are for him...now I should just switch that off and let a baby suck on them?? WEIRD!!!!! But I was willing to give it a shot since Brad wanted me to do it. When she first latched on I was hooked! BUT like I said my goal was to do one year. I'm not so sure I could have done it until they were older then that. I can't say because I never made it there.

There is nothing wrong with doing it till they are 3. Its just as healthy. The location consultant at the hospital told me that I could put some cold BM in Allie's cereal or cup with other milk and she'd never know. I thought about it, but never did.  Society as a whole doesn't accept breastfeeding in general, much less to a child who can ask for something to eat and go to preschool. Last month when Beyonce was "seen" breastfeeding in public it was on every news station! WHO CARES! She is feeding her baby. How did it become more acceptable to see a model naked on new stands and on commercials only covering herself with her hands but its not okay to see a mother feeding her baby the most healthy/natural way!? Everyone has their views and opinion on when they think it is OK to stop.

So for now I'm going to say...no...I'm not mom enough. I'm pretty sure that even if I did make it to a year I would have stopped near that mark. Extended nursing probably will never be accepted in our society, I can see that only getting more tabo as time goes on. More power to you mommas. You do what works for YOU and what works for YOUR family.

Good Bye...for now

Yesterday, May 7, 2012 Brad left the country. Right now he is on a plane from Germany to Kuwait. He started in Golfport, Mississippi and went to Virgina. Last night around 8 pm he left there to go to Germany.

This past weekend I was able to fly down and see him on Friday morning and staying until Sunday evening. I'm going to do my best to express my feelings about this weekend and detail as much as I can so when I'm sad and feeling down and lonely I can come back here...read this post, and remember all the details of our amazing weekend together.

Leaving St. Louis

Thanks to my parents I was able to book a flight and head out early Friday morning. Allie was staying with my parents and Marley with Brad's. My flight left at 7:11 am to Atlanta. From Atlanta I flew to Golfport/Biloxi Airport in Mississippi. Upon arrival I got my bag and rental car and head to my cousin Katie's house where Brad was. It took about 30 minutes to get there. We text (unsafe I know) along the way about how close I was. As I pulled up I seen him sitting outside waiting for me in the driveway. At that moment I fell in love with the man I married all over again. Something I did over and over this weekend! We hugged and kissed and said I love you. Going in I visited with Katie for a little while. Brad showed me the things he bought for me he bought me two dresses, a halter top shirt, a pair of wedges, and black earrings. Everything fit perfect and was beautiful.

This man can shop for me! We were trying to decide on what we wanted to do for the evening. Everything is pretty close driving range and we decided we wanted to visit New Orleans. Brad had 7 am formation on Sunday so going Saturday night was out of the question. So about 1 pm on Friday we decided to make the trip right then.

One of my dresses

Sleeping on the way to NO

We put New Orleans in to the GPS and we were on our way. We booked a hotel along the way and checked in about 3:30 in the afternoon. I will spare all the love making details :):) We showered and dressed and left for Bourbon Street!!!!! I've been one other time when I was 15 and I was scared of that place! It was too big, too loud, and too crowed. This time with my right hand man, knowing he would keep me safe, I was in heaven! We parked and starting our evening. We walked up and down the blocks for a while before getting a drink. We decided to eat. We ate at a restaurant called La Bayou. It was a fancy place. Not a place we would normally go in and prices we would normal not pay. Brad said were going to live it up, this is the only time we have. I agreed. Our dinner was not our taste but we tried something different, we had fried alligator and this combo plate that included, gumbo, Etoufee, and jambalaya. After dinner we went back out on the streets and stepped in a few bars for a quick peak. We seen they had these hurricanes for sale. We had to buy one. For $10 it was considered a

steal. Brad ordered a blue moon and we sat in there for about an hour. We went upstairs and enjoyed the view from the balcony for a bit. Brad wanted to hear a blues band so we went on to another bar. We stopped in a bar and stayed there for a few hours. I don't know any of the names of the bars we went in to because there are so many one after another. Names are not important. We sang, danced, and loved on each other. The band was great and we were having the time of our lives. I remember thinking in my head how I couldn't stop smiling and I was so happy

to be there with him right then enjoying the time together. Brad seen a few guys from another unit but in the same bunk he was in and we hung out with them for most of the night. We went from bar to bar drinking and dancing. It was a really good time. About 1 am I decided that I was ready to go back, I had been up since 3 am the night before. We left the group and headed back. We stopped and had a slice of pizza before I drove us back.

Saturday morning we woke up and had a quick breakfast before heading back to Golfport, I seen an outlet mall on the way to New Orleans that I wanted to shop at. We wanted to go to the beach after that. We shopped, Brad bought me a new Coach purse with matching wallet and a new swim suit. He bought a hat. We stopped at a gas station and bought some corona, and went to the

beach. I was surprised there were not many people there, it was a beautiful day, perfect weather. We hung out with just us two the entire time, we did get in the water. I was nervous, scared of sharks. We went out ways but were only up to our chest. We listen to music and just enjoyed each other. It started to look like it was going to rain so we packed up and headed to Hattiesburg where Camp Shelby is. We rented a hotel right outside of the base, we checked in and got ready to go out to dinner and go out to a country bar called Ropers. The evening was fun and we got back to our hotel about 2:30 am. Brad was wide awake and I was dead tired. When we go in bed Brad just sang Aerosmith "Don't Want to Miss a Thing" song to me as I feel asleep. I woke up a few times and he was still awake just watching me sleep. I realized at this moment, half asleep, that this man loves me just as much as I love him.

He had to get up and be at formation at 7 am and he stayed up all night to take every last second of me as he could. He kissed me good bye and told me he brought me a honey bun. He'd be back and we were going to breakfast. I pulled myself out of bed and showered, I wanted to be ready when he got back. When he got back we went to IHOP for breakfast with a few others from his unit. They were having a barbecue for the entire platoon that was being deployed at noon. We had a few hours so we went back to the hotel and took a nap. We went to the BBQ and hung out for a bit but it was really hot and we just really wanted to be alone because I only had a few more hours before I had to leave. We went back to his barracks and he showed me his "space". Brad ran in the Chaplin and ask him if he would pray with us before I had to leave, it put a little peace in my heart, I know God is going to take care of Brad while he is away. I know God is going to give me the strength to raise our girls and carry on an everyday life for them. We turned on a movie and snuggled up on his mini twin size bunk and watched a movie and fell asleep together. When we got up it was time for me to leave.

He walked me out to the car to say our one last final good bye. He usually leaves me, this time I had to leave him. It. Was. Hard! After many kisses and long hugs I got in the car and drove away. Driving away from the base I just wanted to turn back and steal him and bring him home with me!!! I cried all the way to the airport, at the airport, on my flights, all the way home...until midnight when I layed in my bed, alone, no girls, no Brad, just me. I never felt more alone in my life then I did then. It was too quite in the house.

I needed sleep so bad from the long day I had. After a quick prayer I was sleeping.

That pretty much wraps up my weekend with him. It was amazing. We needed this time together and we made every second count.

I miss my husband!

I really REALLY Really miss Brad today. I haven't seen him in 24 days, and I wont see him for another 9 days. I know that is nothing compaired not seeing him for 9 months or more. This is the longest we have gone with out seeing each other so far. Im so proud of him and what he is doing while he is serving our country and making our lives better.

I have a great support team and great family and friends that are here to help us every step of the way. Im very thankful!!!

He sent me this pic yesterday. He is in Fr. Dix, NJ training.

So hot!!! 

Army Wives Quotes...

Love these.....

The following are some of my favorite quotes for Army Wives:

• Live everyday like he deploys tomorrow.
• The military is my husband's mistress & sometimes that bitch gets all the attention.
• Put on your big girl panties and get ready to deal with a lot of $#!%
• My Soldier makes me scream Hooh-ah.
• If you love a Soldier, raise your glass. If not, raise your standards.
• Army wife… the H-E-R in HERO.
• You go fight for the world. I'll be home fighting for us.
• Why play with Ken when you can have G.I. Joe?
• Army wives get to legally mess with government property.
• Sexually deprived for your freedom.
• I make his dog tags jingle.
• Forget Prince Charming, I have a U.S. Soldier.
• My high heels need your combat boots.
• My man serves so yours won’t get drafted.
• God found some of the strongest women and made their match a Soldier.
• Be jealous, my Soldier is better than your civilian. ok...so, that's just mean)
• I’m the Pink in his world of Camo.
• If the only place that I could see you is in my dreams, I'd sleep forever.
• We are the perfect couple, we're just not in the perfect situation.
• When you feel alone, just look at the spaces between your fingers, remember that in those spaces you can see my fingers locked with yours forever.
• Don't measure the distance; measure my love.
• Close together or far apart, you're forever in my heart.
• Love puts the 'fun' in together, the 'sad' in apart, and the 'joy' in a heart.
• I miss tripping over combat boots.
• Every Soldier deserves a trophy wife.
• Draft beer, not people.
• Military wife: one of the toughest jobs in the military.
• The girl he left behind is still behind him. I support my hero!
• Real love is trading in your diamonds for his dog tags.
• Stay safe; sleep with a soldier (one that isn't married anyways)
• Tough times never last, but tough people do.
• Together forever, never apart; maybe in distance, but never in heart.
• If you think soldiers are strong, you should look at their woman.
• My heart belongs to a soldier.

Throwing in the towel.......I mean the nipple shields and pump.

After a long hard few weeks, I've decided its time to stop breast-feeding. Not because of low supply or work or anything other reasons I thought I would be stopping. But because Marley's acid reflux is so bad. After racking my brain to see what else I could do for my poor baby because after a week on medicine it still was no better and my sitter is about to quit on me. I kept thinking she hated my milk. I googled "Is it possible for a baby to not like their moms milk?" Everything I read pointed to no, not possible. I watched what I ate, nothing spicy, no dairy. I was ready to go to soup and bread diet! I called the doctors office and talked with a nurse and told her I thought Marley's problem was my milk. She told me that if I was comfortable with it, I could try giving her formula for the weekend, pump to keep up my supply and see if it helped. I supplemented a few times while breast feeding so I knew she didn't have a problem with formula. Brad was coming home for the weekend so I thought it was worth a shot. I could pump while he fed Marley. The weekend was good. Not great but better. My heart hurt because I thought that it was for sure me that was the problem. Come Monday, I sent breast milk with Marley to the sitters because I just wasn't willing to face it just yet. She had a horrible day. My poor sitter. She has been a Saint so far. She told me she had screamed most of the day and is very uncomfortable. Tuesday I sent formula along thinking it would help the problem. She was better but not great. I sent the doctor an email and soon after a nurse called. We talked about how much she was spitting up and how she was not content. She said the doctor wanted to see us. After seeing the doctor he told me to keep her on the gentle ease formula and add rice cereal to it. Come to find out the dosage of medication she was getting wasn't right. The pharmacy called the doctors office 3 times asking them to lower it. The third time was after hours and they spoke to a doctor that wasn't Marley's. She was getting half of what she should have been getting. The doctor upped it to three times a day to the right dosage. Last night she got her the rice/formula bottle and she did good. She woke up in the middle of the night smiling and happy. I sent the same to the sitters today and she sent me this text " She is doing amazing! She played for over an hour after her bottle with out one little cry. She started acting sleepy about 15 minutes ago and is already asleep." All I want is for my baby to be happy and healthy. If this is working this is what we are doing. Some might say there are ways around it and things we can do to work around it. I'm sure they are right. But with no husband, a sitter who is about to quit, working, and a screaming baby I'm going to stop. I can't say the word quit. I don't think I'm quitting, I think I'm doing what is best for Marley. Its all about survival mode at this point.

I can't say I'm not sad because my goal was to do it for a year. I considered everyday a success. I didn't get past a week with Allie so doing it 9 weeks with Marley is much better. I have a freezer full of milk that I'll keep and maybe I can use it to mix in her food when she is older and has a stronger belly.

Marley's Birth Story

This is Marley's Birth Story...

When I decided that I was ready to have another baby it took some time to get Brad on the same page. Once we started trying it took 10 long months before we conceived.

We knew Brad would be deploying early 2012 and it started to come down to "Is he going to be home when the baby is born?" and boom were pregnant.

I found out I was pregnant around the end of May.

My pregnancy was uneventful. First three months I was sick, second trimester I was fine, last two months I was tired, and my last month...well I didn't get a full last month because Miss. Marley Elizabeth came three weeks early! (Thank God)

December 22nd I went to the doctor because the day before I had contracts pretty close together and lasted for a few hours. He wanted to check me out just incase. He put me on bed rest until the baby was born.

My weekly doctors appointments were on Tuesday's. Tuesday January 3rd I was seen and everything was good. I was 80% effaced and 2 cm dilated and you can sit on those numbers for weeks.

Brad had orders to leave that Saturday for a two week class for the Army. I knew that I wasn't going to make it two weeks longer and was upset because after all those months of fearing that we would get pregnant too late and him miss it he really was going to miss it! He was scheduled to come home on the 20th and I was due on the 25th. After whining to the doctor he just gave me a pat on the back and said "I'm sorry I can't induce you until a week before your due date." Whomp whomp.

So to home I go for an uneventful night. I went to bed around 10 pm and fall fast asleep only to wake up a short while later not feeling so great. I was up all night contracting but not laboring. With my first pregnancy and this one I never wanted to be "that girl" that called the doctor at 2 am or show up in the ER just to be sent home. I didn't want to see the nurses roll their eyes at me because Im being a baby about some Braxton Hicks. Brad got up for work about 5:30 am and I told him I hadn't slept all night because I was having contractions. He asked if he should stay home and I brushed him off and told him not I was fine they didn't hurt that bad. He then asked if he should drive so if he needed to he could come home. Again told him no I just needed some sleep I was fine. He left.

I got up about 10 minutes late because I need to use the bathroom. I know when they say you lose your mucus plug some people call it a "bloody show". This was much more then that. I thought CRAP now what?!?! So I did what any normal person would do and I took a picture of it and sent it to Brad, my mom, and two sisters lol. The response by all was call the doctor and get to the hospital.

I call the exchange and they told me if the doctor didn't call me back in 2 hours to call them back. Really 2 hours lady?! Moving on. My dad calls and ask if Im okay and wants to know where Brad is. Duh dad I sent him to work!!! He offers me a ride. No Im fine. This is about the time that I stop pacing the house and start squirming in pain every 3 minutes. Ahhh Im home with a 4 year old, my husband is at least 30 min away at this point and no doctor call back! I call Brad and tell him its a good idea that he comes back because I'm pretty sure his daughter is coming out!

After about 5 minutes I realize that waiting for Brad is no longer an option and call dad back. Ten minutes later my dad is there, dresses Allie and were off to the hospital. On the way to the hospital I'm pretty sure this baby is going to come out on the floor of my dad's work truck because the amount of pain I'm in compares to nothing I have ever felt and I would have bet my life that my body was splitting in half. This of course only happens every 3 minutes and I return to normal. Man 3 minutes never went by so fast. For some reason I picked the hospital that is the furthest from my home and as we are driving down three different highways we pass 4 hospitals. I cursed them all.

As we arrive my mom is there waiting for her baby. She gives me a wheel chair and the receptionist ask what I need. Um lets see.....I have a large round belly and Im curled up in a ball...IM IN LABOR LADY!!!!! Up to labor and delivery we go. They stick me in a small room to check me. When Nurse Jenn arrives she observes one contractions and hears me screeching and decides that's not necessary and they give me a room. After I strip off my clothes and lay in bed she checks and Im 5 cm. THAT'S IT?!?! How women make it all the way I have no idea but their something unnatural.

A few minutes later or so it seems Brad appears. Thank you Jesus my husband will see the birth of his second child!

After what seems like years they tell me the neurologist will be in soon to give me my epidural, he had 2 more to do before me. I object. There is no way that anyone else on this planet is in more pain then I am at this time. She just smiled and left the room. At this point I'm cursing, spitting, screaming, ripping sheets. Finally they arrive. I'm welcoming the bee sting in my back to get some relief. About 10 minutes later I'm in half the pain I was in because only half my lower body has went numb. Perfect! HELP!!!!!! They come back pump me with more drugs and fix my epidural and Im in high Heaven.

No one knew what Marley's name was. Everyone told us to keep the sex a secret and that wasn't possible for a man that want a son so bad. So Brad wanted to keep her name a secret. We didn't decide on one name until about 7 or 8 months. It was either Marley (MARy & bradLEY) or Cadence which is a military march. Both had meaning to us. He got to pick her name and he kept me guessing which it was until the end because he thought I would spill the beans and tell others. I kept my mouth shut and didn't tell anyone! Back to my story....

Once I was numb Marley was making her way down fast. The doctor was home showering and I was at 10 cm. I kept telling Brad I wanted it to slow down. Things were going too fast. I got to the hospital at 6:30 am and it was only 10:30!! I was in labor with Allie for over 12 hours and that's what I was expecting this time! Dr. Boveri showed up and it was show time. With my amazing husband and mother by my side I pushed a few times while he was prepping to see how things would go and they told me to stop. I asked for a mirror so that I could see how things were going. At first I was embarrassed to see myself so open but after one push it really helped me see how me pushing was making her crown. It was amazing!! I said she has dark hair!!!!!!! Knowing this baby girl was coming out looking just like her daddy my only request was dark hair! Being the bubble popper he is Brad said no its just wet! BLAH!!!! Push two Marley's head popped out. WHOOOW momma!!!! Third push Marley Elizabeth Soderblom was born at 11:45 am she was 7 pounds 4 ounces and 21 inches long.

Who? What? Where? Why?

Those are the words that come out of Allie's mouth the most.

If you know Allie you know that she is very talkative.

"How old are you?"

"What's your mom's name?"

"What's your favorite color?"

"Who are you calling?"

"Where are you going?"

"Why is your belly big?"

The list goes on and on. She has something to say to everyone and sometimes her comments and questions are not always welcomed.

I try to tell her about personal space but she has no concept. She just wants to be your friend and play with your hair...what is wrong with that???

For the most part what she has to say is nice and people respond with a smile and a comment back. Some people look at her like she has three eyes.

She doesn't understand why someone can't just say hello back. I simply raise my tone a few notches and say "Allie, not everyone is as NICE as you are."

For the life of me I don't know what is so hard about saying hi back to a little girl just saying hello.

I'm proud that so far we have raised a little girl that is friendly and open. She wont shy away from any conversation and I think that she is setting up the foundation to be one smart successful women.

Marley Elizabeth Soderblom

Just born

Almost 7 weeks ago I gave birth to Miss. Marley.

She was 7 pounds 4 oz, 21 inches long. Born 11:48 am.

My heart has doubled in size in the past 7 weeks. In such a short time Marley has brought a ton of join in to our lives and she is such a sweet sweet baby!

We made it home safe!!

She sleeps well at night only to wake up to nurse. I have been lucky so far and she knows when its night and knows when its day time.

Yes you are that cute!!!

Already a ham!

Big sister loves you SO much!

Suggle bug!

This year is going to be a tough one but were going to come out stronger!